he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am naked and annoyed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
