ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
