I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
