people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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