There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize