very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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