I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
