True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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