her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
