That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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