I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
