is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize