You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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