...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
