She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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