i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
