Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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