I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
