**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
