i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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