Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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