Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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