People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
