So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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