WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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