Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
