so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
