We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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