i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
