After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
