sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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