WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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