Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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