ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
