I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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