I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
