is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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