I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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