it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
