I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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