Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
