discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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