Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
