it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
