3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize