Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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