im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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