even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Text me some of your sweat
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
