i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This is my gift to your gina
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize