Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
