God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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