the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
