Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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