just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
