I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize