I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
