therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
