on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
