I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
