he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So vagazzling was a success
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
