he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
