Your face is a jimmy john
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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