I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
